Saturday, July 24, 2021

NEW PRINT: Nothing makes a comic book fanboy foam with rage like the mention of Pop Art legend Roy Lichtenstein. It's just one of the many reasons I love Roy Lichtenstein.

And so I've officially added Roy to the pantheon of Gods of Geek Mythology. And this brand-spanking-new portrait is the latest print available in my Etsy shop. Have I mentioned how happy I am with the quality of these new 11 x 14 prints? Free shipping in the US, if you're into that sort of thing.


Sunday, July 18, 2021

Monday, July 12, 2021

Curly the Conqueror

Ilya Atlialp celebrates his fifth birthday as Link from the Legend of Zelda.


Friday, June 11, 2021

Dope Floats


Jacques Tilly, designer of the outrageous, political Carneval floats of Düsseldorf's Rose Monday parade.

Tuesday, June 1, 2021

Illos on Illoz


My portrait-like renderings now featured on the esteemed Illoz online gallery of illustration superstars. I'm verklemmt! Tell your friends! Especially your friends who are art directors!

Friday, May 28, 2021

Better Ritter

I took another crack at the Thelma Ritter portrait I drew for TCM some years ago. I won't show you the original because it's so revolting I couldn't have possibly been in my right mind when I drew it. I adore Ritter, often considering her performance the salvation of even the worst films she appeared in, so I couldn't let my previous, dog-poo effort at capturing her lie uncorrected.

Ritter is portrayed here as she appeared in Pickup on South Street, a substantial film-noir B-picture in which she has one of her few starring roles. As always, she is the best part of the movie.


Saturday, May 15, 2021

Zucker Papa


If you have a bug up your bourgeoisie bum about Marxism, you can blame my fellow Wuppertaller Friedrich Engels. After all, it was Engels who supported Karl Marx financially during the writing of The Communist Manifesto, but then you already knew Marx was a no-account mooch, didn't you?

In addition to stirring up the Worker's Revolution, Engels was himself a textile magnate, effectively buttering both side of his bread, culturally and politically. As a result, today's Germans can get a bit confused as to who is Labor and who is The Man, making it difficult to decide who is responsible for society's ills.

Monday, May 3, 2021

Yer a Peein'

Brand new Symptoms column on the bathroom habits of Europeans and their effect on my fragile manhood:

Be sure to sign up to receive The Symptoms in ye olde inbox while you're at the Substack site. It soothes my wounded ego.


Saturday, April 24, 2021

Thursday, April 8, 2021

Old Goat

"The Old Goat," self-portrait. This was inspired by a photograph taken of me at a petting zoo a few years ago. Fellow artist Jeremy Pinkham suggested the photo should be a large oil painting, complete with red, velvet curtain in the background. This one is in pixels rather than oils, obviously, but I hope it retains the intended effect. I thought it was high time I produced a self-portrait which more accurately reflected my age and the subsequent surliness that comes from a lifetime of dedication. And I hoped that a portrait might also be just slightly Satanic.


Sunday, April 4, 2021

Saturday, April 3, 2021

String Theorist

Portrait of jazz guitar legend James Slater.


Hang 'em High


The prints are back! The shop is jam-packed with new portrait prints, plus new editions of the old favorites. 11"x14"on heavy-stock archival paper. Free shipping within the U.S., ships rolled in a sturdy protective tube. Have a gander HERE!

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Friday, February 19, 2021


 You folks remember The Symptoms, right? My illustrated column of autobiographical meltdowns and fist-shaking observations of modern irritations? Well, it still lives, and it's bitchier than ever! Now you can find The Symptoms on the Substack platform, the hip new blogging site featuring all your favorite online columnists who got fired from Politico and Slate. 

It's an exciting time for The Symptoms because I'm currently chronicling my relocation from podunk South Carolina to Wuppertal, Germany. Cultures clash and relative hilarity ensues! Please hit the link and subscribe to The Symptoms on Substack because I really, REALLY need to talk to someone in English.

The Symptoms (

Joseph Beuys