How to Art

 

Want to hear career advice for college students from a penniless crackpot recluse? Sure you do! Hit the link below and listen to me regale eager youngsters with my demoralizing tales of commercial art woe. It's filmed in YELLOWVISION (tm)!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOEOlHWJW3c

Slides from My 50-Year Vacation

This is a slideshow featured in the Character Witness exhibit in the Limestone University Gallery, October 19 - November 30, 2021. Virtual Artist Talk: October 26 at 12:45 pm Reception: October 27 at 2:00 pm Contact Gallery Director Emily Tuttle at etuttle@limestone.edu for more information. Music: "Solitude" by Jamie Slater, copyright 2021

Show 'Nuff

Presented in the pit of the Deep South (that would be the pit of the giant peach in Gaffney, SC), a new gallery exhibit featuring the illustrated toil of yours truly. Emily Tuttle and Carolyn Ford of Limestone University have assembled a powerhouse collection of my boldest portraits and associated images. Plus I'll be appearing via Zoom from across the pond! More information as we proceed to the finish line. Many thanks to everyone at Limestone for pulling this all together while I sit in another country and eat cheese doodles.

 

Ready, Freddy, Go

Yesterday we celebrated the birthday of the legendary Freddy Hein. Despite our requests, he did not play his invisible acoustic. (In need of a portrait for your own celebratory purposes? Please get in touch.)

 

Rocks Around the Clock

New print: Another edition to the Gods of Geek Mythology series, the zen master of the cartoon arts, Ernie Bushmiller! The Nancy creator works with precision in his den of domestic order, contemplating not one, not two, but three rocks just outside his window. Complete the domestic order of your own domain with Ernie's beatific visage on your wall. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1094401385/ernie-bushmiller-caricature-print-by?ref=shop_home_active_1&frs=1

 

Putting a Little English on that Pidgeon

Another reworking of an older piece: Walter Pidgeon, as he appeared in Forbidden Planet, originally drawn for Turner Classic Movies several years ago. I was clearly not in my right mind when I made the first attempt - and no, you can't see it! Hopefully, this pass shows a bit more respect to this noble screen presence. 

 

The Product-al Son Returns!

Marketers and focus groups agree: Now is the time for MR. PRODUCT! Through the modern miracle of online purchasing, owning Mr. Product products is easier and more satisfying than ever! Attain the lifestyle fulfillment of Product Consciousness with the full line of Mr. Product merchandise! Visit the Mr. Product showroom at the link below!

https://www.redbubble.com/shop/ap/88566231

 

The Sound of Violence

New Symptoms essay on the struggle of man against noise, now available on Substack. (Don't forget to subscribe!)

https://thesymptoms.substack.com/p/the-sound-of-violence?justPublished=true&fbclid=IwAR3H1a8S1WtdXXLyzbmj19awC1gxK5QGNz9cmhMc6GLpUEMXVABNMTuLAx8

 

Flimsy Post

 

Zoom Meeting Fashion?

Spotted in the wild: Waist-up Monday, waist-down weekend.

 

NEW PRINT: Nothing makes a comic book fanboy foam with rage like the mention of Pop Art legend Roy Lichtenstein. It's just one of the many reasons I love Roy Lichtenstein.

And so I've officially added Roy to the pantheon of Gods of Geek Mythology. And this brand-spanking-new portrait is the latest print available in my Etsy shop. Have I mentioned how happy I am with the quality of these new 11 x 14 prints? Free shipping in the US, if you're into that sort of thing.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1042750636/roy-lichtenstein-caricature-print-by?ref=shop_home_active_1&frs=1

 

Pina Nicotina

Famed Wuppertal choreographer and dancer Pina Bausch.

 

Curly the Conqueror

Ilya Atlialp celebrates his fifth birthday as Link from the Legend of Zelda.

 

Dope Floats

 

Jacques Tilly, designer of the outrageous, political Carneval floats of Düsseldorf's Rose Monday parade.

Illos on Illoz

 

My portrait-like renderings now featured on the esteemed Illoz online gallery of illustration superstars. I'm verklemmt! Tell your friends! Especially your friends who are art directors! https://illoz.com/ashleyholt/

Better Ritter

I took another crack at the Thelma Ritter portrait I drew for TCM some years ago. I won't show you the original because it's so revolting I couldn't have possibly been in my right mind when I drew it. I adore Ritter, often considering her performance the salvation of even the worst films she appeared in, so I couldn't let my previous, dog-poo effort at capturing her lie uncorrected.

Ritter is portrayed here as she appeared in Pickup on South Street, a substantial film-noir B-picture in which she has one of her few starring roles. As always, she is the best part of the movie.

 

Lucky Pup

Lilo and Clover.

 

Zucker Papa

 

If you have a bug up your bourgeoisie bum about Marxism, you can blame my fellow Wuppertaller Friedrich Engels. After all, it was Engels who supported Karl Marx financially during the writing of The Communist Manifesto, but then you already knew Marx was a no-account mooch, didn't you?

In addition to stirring up the Worker's Revolution, Engels was himself a textile magnate, effectively buttering both side of his bread, culturally and politically. As a result, today's Germans can get a bit confused as to who is Labor and who is The Man, making it difficult to decide who is responsible for society's ills.

Yer a Peein'

Brand new Symptoms column on the bathroom habits of Europeans and their effect on my fragile manhood: https://thesymptoms.substack.com/p/yer-a-peein?fbclid=IwAR3XdcF9cK-tPih1VEXb-yuxfK95KoZDZ5AejzMoe_9iRT6waAJlZVvs3aY

Be sure to sign up to receive The Symptoms in ye olde inbox while you're at the Substack site. It soothes my wounded ego.

 

Knit Wit

Portrait of illustrator and crafting wizard Dil An.

 

Old Goat

"The Old Goat," self-portrait. This was inspired by a photograph taken of me at a petting zoo a few years ago. Fellow artist Jeremy Pinkham suggested the photo should be a large oil painting, complete with red, velvet curtain in the background. This one is in pixels rather than oils, obviously, but I hope it retains the intended effect. I thought it was high time I produced a self-portrait which more accurately reflected my age and the subsequent surliness that comes from a lifetime of dedication. And I hoped that a portrait might also be just slightly Satanic.

 

Flower on the Vine

Portrait of artist extraordinaire Tulpe Ritter.

 

String Theorist

Portrait of jazz guitar legend James Slater.

 

Hang 'em High

 

The prints are back! The shop is jam-packed with new portrait prints, plus new editions of the old favorites. 11"x14"on heavy-stock archival paper. Free shipping within the U.S., ships rolled in a sturdy protective tube. Have a gander HERE!

Linke Pinko

Former Bundestag opposition leader Sahra Wagenknecht.

 

Your Obedient Servant

 My 87th drawing of the giant Orse.

Substackin'

 You folks remember The Symptoms, right? My illustrated column of autobiographical meltdowns and fist-shaking observations of modern irritations? Well, it still lives, and it's bitchier than ever! Now you can find The Symptoms on the Substack platform, the hip new blogging site featuring all your favorite online columnists who got fired from Politico and Slate. 

It's an exciting time for The Symptoms because I'm currently chronicling my relocation from podunk South Carolina to Wuppertal, Germany. Cultures clash and relative hilarity ensues! Please hit the link and subscribe to The Symptoms on Substack because I really, REALLY need to talk to someone in English.

The Symptoms (substack.com)

Joseph Beuys